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Welcome, humble reader, to the first self-help book that doesn't tell you what you want to know, but what you NEED to know. Come along with Douglas Texter as he takes you on a whirlwind tour of the practice of self-betterment throughout the ages in this biting parody of self-help literature. He carefully explores the Big 12 myths of self-improvement, and at the same time, delivers a devastating, sardonic social and political commentary. "The Myth of Planning" shows you how sales-rep Tiffany Johnson secures the 2000-student adoption of the outrageously expensive textbook "To Market, To Market" by using the techniques she learned in "Ninety-Seven Habits of Really Rapacious People." In "The Myth of Education," you'll attend gym class with fourteen-year-old Winston Nebbish and learn how our education system creates and unleashes over-achievers who do incredible damage. You'll also discover the secrets behind dodge ball and the fine art of giving a wedgie. "The Myth of Work" takes you behind the scenes at Ishmael's Caffeine Machine, America's hottest new high-end coffee retailer. Peeking out from behind the flaps of the sweat lodge that CEO Martha Little Sympathy has built, you'll witness the birth of the Moby Dick™ product line. Youll also accompany marketing guru Lisa Jones to a focus-group meeting and the strangest worker-empowerment session you'll ever see...And that's just the beginning! Inside, you'll find not only the full text of this short chapter summary, but an entire nine chapters more, for a total of twelve (12) FULL chapters of the information you desperately need to stay safe and sane in an insane world. If you've always chafed at being a little cog in a great big wheel, suspected that really you are just a number (as the song goes), then BUY THIS BOOK and learn to finally be at peace with your inconsequence, to glory in your insignificance. Let the other guy take the bullet for a change...

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