Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer: A Beginners Guide
by Jo Hilder
You receive the worst possible news - someone you love is diagnosed with cancer. Before you have a chance to do anything, you know you'll need to say something. The usual clichés spring to mind, but surely there’s something better to say than “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? Just what do you say to someone who has cancer?
Author Jo Hilder draws on her experience as a cancer survivor, advocate and support group facilitator to introduce new ways to talk about cancer, and to the people we love who are diagnosed with it. With warmth and humor, Jo gently eases family, friends and supporters into those inevitable interactions faced after a cancer diagnosis, exploring the most common practical, social and emotional challenges. Identifying, addressing and dispelling the common cancer clichés, Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer introduces simple and comfortable methods for turning awkward interactions into open conversations about cancer. Sharing from her own journey as a cancer patient and wide experience delivering cancer support programs, Jo helps readers understand the reality of cancer and treatment, contrasting this with common stereotypes and cancer myths. Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer is a practical guide for the uninitiated, providing information and support for anyone who finds themselves bewildered and afraid in the face of a cancer diagnosis.
“If it were an ideology, it would be terrorism. Cancer catches us unawares, unprepared, without mercy or prejudice, forever altering the lives it touches. Jo Hilder has tackled a very difficult subject in Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer - the very essence of our first contact with cancer. In acknowledging those first emotions and reactions and naming our fears, she sensitively constructs a platform for what is inevitably a long arduous journey for all involved. Having been through that experience personally, I feel Things Not To Say To Someone With Cancer is a great place for anyone to start.” Brad Fitzpatrick (husband of Christine, passed away from cancer, 1997)
“In Things Not to Say to Someone Who Has Cancer, Jo Hilder provides a friendly, well-written guide for things to say instead of the usual clichés. Things Not To Say is a great book for cancer patients, cancer survivors, carers, friends, colleagues, neighbors and health professionals.” Carol Rhodes, cancer survivor and program facilitator, Living Well After Cancer.
“Jo tackles a tough issue with compassion, humor and sensitivity, challenging existing approaches to talking about cancer by shining a light on a new way to communicate around a cancer diagnosis. Things Not To Say also acknowledges the good intentions underpinning those things we know we shouldn't say to someone with cancer, but seem to stumble into anyway. This warm and thoughtful book is much more than a guide of what not to do, and contains much food for thought on new ways to address the issue of cancer and its impact on the ones we love.” Kelly Williams
“Positive and wise, this book goes well beyond what’s promised. Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has Cancer doesn't just tell us what not to say, but leads us along a path to a far more positive and comprehensive way of approaching loved ones with cancer. Far from just being a list, Things Not To Say encourages us to leap forward into a better way, and to trust ourselves to relax into a more natural way of being with someone who has cancer.” Carrie Green, cancer carer
- Jo Hilder, August 2012
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