The Freaky Farts of Mister Schumm
by Jorrit Smink
Paul Schumm is a bitter middle school teacher. He gets his happiness out of giving bad grades to children and he loves to send them to the principal for being too late. He even punishes them when they are too early.
When he gets fired however, he discovers he has a special talent. He is able to produce the worst farts ever and as soon as he figures out how to catch his own farts in little fart bags, he start to use them as fart bombs.
His hometown New Liechtenstein gets bombarded with mysterious gases. The police have no idea where to look and blame young William Stevens.
While mister Schumm then starts to work on his biggest piece of (f)art, 10-year-old William has to figure out who is really behind the fart bombs. He doesn´t have much time though... the police, the president and a mysterious mister Berry are on him. If he cannot solve the stinky business in time, he will be in jail forever!
The president wishes to state that he thinks this is a stupid book, written by a stupid author, that the book is not based on a real story, that he has never spoken to Mister Schumm about the fart bombs, especially not on Wednesday mornings at eleven and he furthermore wishes to deny that Mister Berry ever existed, that he doesn´t like ice cream and that therefore this book cannot be printed without this presidential message.
The Freaky Farts of Mister Schumm won the International Indecent Book Award of 2012 and is the favorite choice of fired and crazy teachers!
- Jorrit Smink, December 2012
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