Stories from a Moron
Real Stories Rejected by Real Magazines
"Sorry, there's no way we can use this."
- Plumpers Magazine
"As a word of advice, it always helps for writers to be familiar with the publications they submit material to."
- Fencers Quarterly Magazine
Ed writes short stories. He's prolific. And desperate to get published. But he sends his stories to the wrong magazines. As for the magazines? Well, they don't mind telling him so:
"Dear Ed: I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry..."
"Dear Ed: Thank you for your recent submission to Steamboat Magazine; it was wonderful to hear how much our magazine has touched you..."
"Dear Ed: We do not publish stories about individuals like Conugal Cal, or about underwear-no matter how often references are made to fencing."
"Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for providing the editors with an opportunity to review your manuscript, 'Luau Lester'..."
"Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for the opportunity to review your article, 'My Car Ride with Daddy,' for possible publication in Mushing..."
With this book, Ed Broth finally sees his work published. His "Stories of Hope & Inspiration" and his "Stories of Meaning & Sacrament" plus his passionate pitches to place his writing in our nation's premier publications-from Pest Control Magazine to Arthritis Today-are all to be found in the book you hold in your hands.
Some might have advised Ed not to send his story "I Love Dogs" to I Love Cats Magazine or to stop submitting revised stories to editors who have already turned them down. But, well, that's just not the way Ed's mind works. Studded like a rich cranberry strudel with nuggets of genius -from cartoons and advertisements to actual newspaper articles from across the country - Stories From a Moron is an addictive journey into the mind of a great talent.
- St. Martin's Press, January 2005
St. Martin's Press
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