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Synopsis

Not all things that glitter are made of gold.

My name is Paul Kian McKinnon. I grew up upper class, wealthy parents who had successful jobs, the best education money could buy, friends in all the most popular circles, and of course ideal grades. My good fortune spilled over into my adult life. To most people my life is what you would call privileged. At first glance you would think I have everything together, healthy bank account, beautiful house, good job, and great friends. Everything is perfect, until… The door to the outside world closes.

At home everything falls apart. In this place I am at my most vulnerable. Every night I try to silence my inner demons in a sea of sleeping pills and alcohol, but sometimes that isn’t enough. Sometimes it gets to be too much and I need to do more than simply just dull the anxiety, pain, and the all-encompassing numbness. Yes, I know it’s not healthy, but it’s all I have… Well that and my brothers, the Misfits as we are called.

We were all brought together thanks to the kindness of Jethro-Elijah Shepard. Through his compassionate heart and stern beliefs we’ve grown up together into strong, loyal, friends. We’ve celebrated each other’s wins, as well as comforted each other in our loses. Those men have been more of a family to me than my own flesh and blood, and yet I still can’t bring myself to share the darkest parts of me. They won’t understand, they see me just as the rest of the world does… Perfect.

What would happen if I dropped the mask and let it splinter like the pieces of my broken soul?

Would they save me?

The better question is… Do I want to save myself, or do I just want to fade away in the abyss of pain and suffering?

Am I ready to peel away the beautiful covering and let them look at the ugliness underneath?

In order to find out you’ll have to read my story and trust me when I say… it won’t be for the faint of heart.

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