The Walking Unwed: 100 Ways to Survive a Dead Marriage Apocalypse
Not to be confused with unmarried, the term Unwed refers to a particular virus that, in essence, turns spouses into walking married corpses. According to historical data, this disease has been infecting couples for millennia. But its causes and properties remained largely a mystery until the early 20th century when a doctor in Indian made a critical breakthrough.
After studying infected pairs in a series of trials, he posited a controversial theory that the Unwed virus has six phases and symptoms tended to appear in the first 100 days of marriage. Thus, he believed, the infection could be thwarted or even reversed with the early application of certain wellness tactics. Unfortunately, most of the doctor's research has been lost or destroyed since he went missing some time around 1906. His list of survival tactics, however, was discovered decades later by a woman in New York who was desperate to save her marriage.
Ready to dig in?
It's best to devour The Walking Unwed survival guide in chunks. Each of the guide's 10 sections includes:
- 1 single morsel from Mr. or Mrs. Jones’ journal
- 1 scientific Unwed-related nugget
- 10 bite-sized tactics from Dr. Ganesh
Certain tips may be more useful to you than others, depending on your background, previous encounters and current level of infection (if applicable). Preventative measures provide the best results. It is recommended that engaged couples, newlyweds and marriage veterans study the material together.
If you don’t think you need to be on the same page, you’re already as good as Unwed.
- RUSSIA, October 2012
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