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Synopsis

Murder, suspense, sex--and some handy household tips.

IN BOOK 1 OF THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES:  

All I really needed to know about being a freelance assassin I learned before my youngest daughter, Trisha, started kindergarten.

I've come to that realization as I lay naked and handcuffed to the bed of my target du jour, a sleazebag by the name of Yuri Petrovich. Yuri has just downed a couple of Viagra with the last of his Starbucks venti-sized nonfat decaf caramel macchiato. This is to ensure us both that his attempt to mount me will have all the gusto of a broncobuster breaking in the wildest filly in the corral before heading on into the sunset. (In truth, we are in a hillside suite at the Chateau Marmont. But considering Yuri's attitude toward women, the cowboyspeak sums things up quite nicely.) 

Believe it or not, everything is going just as I planned, and right on schedule... 


ABOUT THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK: 

Every housewife needs an alias. Donna Stone has one--and it happens to be government-sanctioned. 
Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers, or driving carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents.

Donna's life wasn't always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband: Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna's life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby. Carl's car blew up on the way to the hospital. 

Turns out Carl was a "hard man"--an assassin--for the black ops organization known as Acme Industries. The hit on Carl was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum's motto: "Show me the money." Governments and corporations do as they're told--or suffer bloody consequences.

 
To protect herself and avenge Carl's death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart's, her marksmanship is second to none. 

A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. For Donna, that's too close for comfort. Will she be able to save her family before the Quorum blows up Los Angeles?Acme's way of flushing out the Quorum is by "bringing Carl back from the dead." 
But terrorism makes strange bedfellows--and brings new meaning to that old adage "Honey, I'm home..."

"Secrets, sex, money and scandal! Josie Brown is truly entertaining reading." -- Jackie Collins

"This book hits all the right notes...I now want a week at the beach to read them all...I'm completely smitten." -- Barbara Vey

PRAISE FOR THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES

"This is a super sexy and fun read that you shouldn't miss! How do I love this book, let me count the ways: (1.) A kick ass woman that can literally kick ass as well as cook and clean. Donna gives a whole new meaning to "taking out the trash". (2.) The book is set around Los Angeles, mostly in a gated community suspiciously like Coto de Caza, full of housewives that could be 'real" and for the setting alone, a big giant WIN! (3.) Super sarcasm, snarky dialogue and making fun of all that is wrong in the OC, politics, as well as current world affairs." -- Mary Jacobs, Book Hounds Reviews

"If I was a housewife, I would want to be Donna. I'm not kidding guys, the girl can shoot, seduce, and kill, all while balancing the demands of carpool and managing the suburban mommies and their opinion of her and her kids. Her hostess skills are to die for, and many have fallen for her seduction routines. Enter Jack, who is a fantastic and well known agent, and sexy to boot. The chemistry between the two of them is enough to set water on fire. Add in a healthy dose of humor and ridiculousness, some mayhem, and some really cute kids, and you've got a book that won't be put down - so go pick it up now!"
-- Cat's Thoughts

"The Housewife Assassin's Handbook by Josie Brown is a fun, sexy and intriguing mystery. Donna Stone is a great heroine - housewives can lead all sorts of double lives, but as an assassin? Who would have seen that one coming? Certainly not those in Donna's neighbourhood. This book totally reminded me of the movie Mr & Mrs. Smith. Not that it is a copy of the movie, but that it has all of the thrills and enjoyment of the movie. It's a fast-paced read, the gadgets are awesome, and I could just picture Donna fighting off Russian gangsters and skinheads all the while having a pie at home cooling on the windowsill. As a housewife myself, this book was a fantastic escape that had me dreaming "if only" the whole way through. The book doesn't take itself too seriously, which makes for the perfect combination of mystery and humour..." --Curled Up with a Good Book and a Cup of Tea

"I thoroughly enjoyed Donna and Jack, their zeal for their missions and each other. James Bond doesn’t have anything on these two. Very entertaining." -- Sandy M., The Good, The Bad, and The Unread

"After reading this fantastic story, I immediately checked out Ms. Brown’s website to see what else she has written. I was so excited to see there is another The Housewife Assassin’s book!! I will be reading it next. I am in love with the main characters. And what an interesting twist at the end." -- Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews

PRAISE FOR JOSIE BROWN

"Josie Brown writes with all the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Her clever dialogue makes for truly entertaining reading." -- Jackie Collins

“Brown proves that a story with suburban bodies can be just as suspenseful as one with dead bodies! Loved it!” -- Stephanie Bond, author, OUR HUSBAND, and THE BODY MOVERS series

"I loved it! Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heartwrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!" -- Lisa Rinna, actress
 

OTHER FUNNY ROMANTIC MYSTERIES BY JOSIE BROWN:

THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK (Book 1) Every desperate housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone has one, and it happens to be government-sanctions. But espionage makes for strange bedfellows, and brings new meaning to the old adage, "Honey, I'm home..."
         
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S GUIDE TO GRACIOUS KILLING (Book 2) 
On Donna's to-do list: First, exterminate a rogue operative out to assassinate the newly elected Russian President. Next: file for divorce!
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S KILLER CHRISTMAS TIPS (Book 3) 
'Tis the season for mistletoe...and murder! There will be no peace on Earth if Donna doesn't find a shipping container filled with heat-seeking missiles!
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S RELATIONSHIP SURVIVAL GUIDE (Book 4)          
London. Paris. Guantanamo Bay. Donna Stone is looking for love -- and terrorists -- in all the wrong places. In this fourth full-length novel of The Housewife Assassin series, Donna Stone finds out that breaking up is hard to do. Then again, so is dating a terrorist, let alone eleven of them! Does this make Donna a serial dater, or a serial killer? Worse yet, an old flame gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love. But she doesn't cry...She gets even.
  
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S VACATION TO DIE FOR (Book 5)
An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy island. But first they'll have to deal with a nude sunbathing serial killer, a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover, poison dart-throwing pygmies, and a hunt club with the most unusual prey. And you call this a vacation?
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S RECIPES FOR DISASTER (Book 6)
Housewife Assassin Donna Stone's executive mission is crystal clear: stop the assassination of both US political parties' presidential candidates. When she discovers she has a long-term vendetta with one of the targets, can she put her animosity aside long enough to save the candidate's life?
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HOLLYWOOD SCREAM PLAY (Book 7)
Lights, camera and non-stop action await Donna and Jack when they are hired as espionage consultants on a movie set. There will be plenty of close-ups, and too many close calls as they use the movie's many location shoots to track down crucial intel needed to take down the Quorum. But nothing--including a lascivious leading lady, deadly stunt doubles, or being on Interpol's Most Wanted list-will stand in their way.
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S DEADLLY DOSSIER (PREQUEL)
In this full-length prequel to The Housewife Assassin series, Acme Industries' black=ops agent Jack Craig is tasked with investigating the mysterious death of his organization's most prolific hit man, Carl Stone, only to fall in love with the dead man's wife, Donna--a woman he must never contact, but who may hold the key to her husband's disappearance. When Acme approaches Donna to join the organization as an assassin, Jack's undercover mission will change both their lives forever.
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S KILLER APP (Book 8)
In order to flush out an internationally renowned hacker who is wreaking havoc with top secret documents inside the United States' Intelligence Community's secured database, housewife assassin Donna Stone infiltrates three very successful high tech corporations, including one with an operating system that contains artificial intelligence designed to meet your every need--even if it kills you; another with a CEO who plans to broker the country's intelligence secrets to the highest bidder, be it a terrorist or enemy state; and an interactive game start-up with an avatar on the deadliest mission of all: kill Donna. Can she save the world from terror--and at the same time protect her children from the painful knowledge of the father who deserted them?
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HOSTAGE HOSTING TIPS (Book 9)
It's up to Donna Stone to save a hotel filled with international dignitaries from terrorists whose usual demands are million-dollar ransoms. But this time, the price is much higher, and much more personal, for the housewife assassin.

Book Reviews

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
Average rating
4.1 / 5
Good Fun
November 1st, 2015
Good humoured tongue in cheek spy story. Desparate Housewife is James bond, but who's on whose side.
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1 review
I really loved it.
October 30th, 2015
Funny. A surprisingly plot with a different perspective were the personages look your day to day people, and a woman is just a normal human been and not a superwoman which end up turned like a queen that just her has the power to save the world.
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1 review
fun! :-)
October 15th, 2015
This is a good, light, fun read - good enough that i want to read the whole series. It's perfect for when you want something absorbing but not heavy.
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1 review
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
October 9th, 2015
It was a great holiday read, very entertaining and enjoyable. Cannot wait to read the next one in the series
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1 review
Amazing
October 6th, 2015
This book has an amazing storyline and amazing twists. The characters are very well written, definitely going to read the rest of this series!
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1 review
1 person found this helpful
Unexpected storyline
October 3rd, 2015
This book has a bit of everything in it. Love, sex, suspense, murder and family. Unexpectedly enjoyed!
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1 review
2 of 2 people found this helpful
Awesome
September 9th, 2015
Written with style and finess. The story grabs you and make you feel part of the community. Can not wait to read the next one. Thumbs up for the silent housewife.......
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1 review
1 person found this helpful
A great read
August 21st, 2015
This story is an exciting and fun peek into the mind of a modern housewife (who also happens to be an assassin). It was refreshing to read about a female character as complex as any real life person!
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1 review
2 of 2 people found this helpful
Nice job
July 28th, 2015
Donna, like all mothers, does whatever's needed to keep her kids taken care of including a practical job that lets her be there for them. Juggling assassination with baseball has some challenges and when men are thrown into the mix its hard to keep things running. Her practical tips at the beginning of each chapter are priceless. Great read - loved every bit!
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1 review
2 of 2 people found this helpful
Laugh out loud fun
July 26th, 2015
This was an easy, at times comical, mystery read. I absolutely loved the funny tips at the beginning of each chapter. Made my husband cringe...lol. Would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a fun light read. And I do plan on reading more in the series.
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1 review
2 of 2 people found this helpful
The Housewife Assassin Handbook #1
July 14th, 2015
A totally entertaining and unexpected mystery novel. I loved the unexpected twists and turns. Can't wait to read book #2!.
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1 review
2 of 2 people found this helpful
Fun mystery that keeps you reading
June 30th, 2015
Well written, easy to follow. Great story line, nice twist in the plot. Easy to identify with the characters. Strong opening chapter that pulls you into the story. I will be reading the rest of the series :)
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1 review
1 person found this helpful
Interesting
June 27th, 2015
I love the suspense! Can't wait until I read the other books! So many many more but are they all about the Qourum?
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1 review
2 of 2 people found this helpful
First time reading by this aithor
June 24th, 2015
Totslly swesome! Couldn't put this book down. Read it in one night! I haven't read something this good since a J. D. ROBB novel. Look forward to reading more books in this series!!!
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1 review
1 person found this helpful
Great
June 23rd, 2015
Well I loved it and I wish the rest were free cause its extraordinary..really helpful too hrhe some fun
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1 review
2 of 2 people found this helpful
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
June 13th, 2015
A very amusing book that husbands should worry about! It has it all. Love, murder, thrills and spills. Thoroughly recommend this read.
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1 review
3 of 3 people found this helpful
Surprise
June 6th, 2015
This is not the type of book I normally read. Sci-fi, is my norm; but I also like cozies and adventure. So I was very surprised by it. Family life by a grieving widow with children. Suggestions on what to do with all those pesky little things life gives you,how to get rid of them. A lot of tongue in cheek humor. I loved it.
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1 review
5 of 5 people found this helpful
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
April 12th, 2015
I fell in love with this book from the first fe chapters that I read . I was "HOOKED" !!! After I finished it I went and purchased the next 5 ebooks for my reader. I can't wait to finish them before I buy the next. 5 more .
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1 review
1 person found this helpful
Good read
March 18th, 2015
Light easy read with romance . No too many characters , but a little far fetched. Will read other books in the series .
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1 review
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook - Book #1
February 15th, 2015
I liked the mystery but there was too much language and sex. I could not recommend this book to a friend or relative.
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1 review
Humourously different
January 19th, 2015
Although this author is not quite up to Evanovich's quality this book has some wit and humour that makes it worth spending a weekend reading. It has enough twists and surprises that keeps a reader turning the pages.
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1 review
8 of 9 people found this helpful
Very thrilling read indeed!!
December 17th, 2014
This book always had me on the edge of my seat . My emotions were always changing from left to right ! And the plot twists are just to die for! Must read more of the series!
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1 review
8 of 8 people found this helpful
The housewife assassin.
November 7th, 2014
Enjoyed the twists, never sure what would happen.
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1 review
6 of 6 people found this helpful
Housewife assassin's handbook
November 5th, 2014
Such an easy read, it was perfect!
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1 review
5 of 5 people found this helpful
The housewife assassin's handbook
November 3rd, 2014
Interesting read, loved it!
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1 review
5 of 5 people found this helpful
Loved it
November 2nd, 2014
I can't wait to read the rest of the series.
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1 review
Housewife Assassin's Handbook. Book
November 1st, 2014
This book could be so much more. Plot is good with some (mostly predictable) twist and turns. Moderately good character development, but amateurish in its prose. Seems to be written for the romance reading crowd.
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1 review
5 of 5 people found this helpful
Kinda like Mr and Ms Smith
October 31st, 2014
It's a funny and lighthearted story. Very original.
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1 review
5 of 5 people found this helpful
Good one
September 14th, 2014
Kept on reading...never felt bore...good one
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1 review
Reader
August 30th, 2014
Just a little to breezy.
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1 review
8 of 8 people found this helpful
The Housewife Assasin Series
August 12th, 2014
.just cant stop when I started reading...enjoyed it...
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1 review
8 of 8 people found this helpful
Beautiful
July 11th, 2014
That was almost heart wrenching . I couldnt believe how it had turned out but was kinda expecting it I guess
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1 review
6 of 6 people found this helpful
Not your ordinary spy
February 26th, 2014
Loved this, so tongue in cheek, fast paced and almost more believable than the serious spy stories, after all mums can do anything!!!
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1 review
8 of 8 people found this helpful
Housewife Asassin's Handbook
December 27th, 2013
Funny, nice relaxing read.
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1 review
3 of 3 people found this helpful
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
October 22nd, 2013
It was witty, and alot of fun to read .I enjoy this book there was never a dull moment full of action, a real page turner and it kept you interested in the book. It was very good.
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1 review
5 of 5 people found this helpful
The housewife assassin's handbook
October 16th, 2013
Ok forget about me saying I prefer mysteries without romance. Ok I still do but there's something to say about these so called romance mysteries. Whatever. This story grabs the reader from page one and leaves one wanting that the last page never comes. I'm moving onto the next book, can't wait to see what happens
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1 review

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