The Funniest People in Relationships: 250 Anecdotes
by David Bruce
Some samples: 1) When children’s book author Betsy Byars was three years old, she heard a lot about Miss Harriet, the first-grade teacher of her older sister, and she couldn’t wait to grow up and be a student in Miss Harriet’s class, so that she could paint and be read to from a book titled "The Adventures of Mabel." Betsy did grow old enough to go to school, and on the first day, she and the other students were assigned to various teachers. Unfortunately, Betsy was not assigned to Miss Harriet. Nevertheless, she knew what she wanted, and she went to Miss Harriet’s class anyway. Soon, the principal appeared in the classroom, looking for her, since she had not gone to the right room. Betsy told the principal, “I want to be in Miss Harriet’s room.” Then she corrected herself and said, “I have to be in Miss Harriet’s room.” Miss Harriet told the principal, “Let her stay.” The principal did, and first grade with Miss Harriet was as wonderful as Betsy had hoped it would be. 2) When comedian Arte Johnson was growing up on a farm in Michigan, everyone canned their own vegetables. One day, his family was boiling the canning jars to sterilize them when someone noticed a mouse in a spill area under the stove. They immediately shouted for Grampa to come and take care of the mouse. Annoyed, he came running from the barn carrying a shotgun, then aimed at the mouse and fired. He missed the mouse, but he did manage to shatter every canning jar on top of the stove. According to Mr. Johnson, “The green beans exploded and were hanging from the ceiling like stalactites for weeks.” 3) When children’s picture book creator Ezra Jack Keats was taking classes at the Art Students League, his best friend, Martin Pope, was taking science classes in college. Often, they would meet and have long discussions. Mr. Keats would walk Mr. Pope home, but since their discussion wasn’t finished, they would turn around and Mr. Pope would walk Mr. Keats home. Because their discussion still wasn’t finished, they would turn around again. Finally, they would say goodbye midway between their homes.
- David Bruce, November 2011
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