The Funniest People in Families, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes
by David Bruce
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Some samples: 1) Early in their married life, horror writer Stephen King and his wife, Tabitha, had little money. In fact, at their wedding, Mr. King walked down the aisle wearing a borrowed suit, tie, and shoes. (Since he took the morning off to get married, his pay at the Laundromat where he worked was docked.) Mr. King wrote a novel, but he was so disgusted at the low pay he was receiving for his writing that he threw away the manuscript. Fortunately, his wife retrieved it from the garbage and convinced him to send it to a friendly editor at Doubleday. In 1973, the book, titled Carrie, was published in hardback, and he received $2,500 for it. Later, the paperback rights to the successful novel were sold. Mr. King figured that he would get $5,000 for the paperback rights, and when he learned that he would actually get $400,000, he celebrated by buying his wife a hair dryer. 2) When country comedian Jerry Clower was a very small boy, his grandfather got up before dawn, left the house, and returned after sunset three days in a row. Young Jerry asked where he had been, and his grandfather replied, “I been doing public work—working for the county. We have a poll tax we have to pay before we can vote, and I didn’t have the two dollars to pay it. So the county agreed to let me work three days and they would pay me two dollars.” Then his grandfather smiled and said, “Hallelujah! I done earned two dollars. I can vote! Thank God. Boy, your grandaddy is going to be able to vote.” 3) Actor Walter Slezak’s grandmother was very curious. When he was a small boy, he asked her to keep for him a large box tied with string, but not to tell his parents about it because it was a secret. In particular, she had to promise not to look inside the box. As soon as he left the room, his grandmother began to untie the string. Inside the box she found a smaller box, and inside that box she found an even smaller box. When she finally opened the smallest box, she found this note: “Hello, nosy, you broke your promise.”
- David Bruce, November 2011
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