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Synopsis

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

Book Reviews

Sh*t My Dad Says
Average rating
4.3 / 5
Funny
May 25th, 2015
Easy read and entertaining ö my goodness we are having a lovely evening :) you sould be happy with any response
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1 review
LOL!
March 10th, 2015
Nothing like sitting on a plane or in a waiting room laughing to yourself and having people look at you like your crazy!
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1 review
HI-LA-RIOUS
November 13th, 2014
This Dad is awesome. The fact that Justin had this idea to grab the sayings/advice/rants of his Dad on a daily basis is purely genius. You'll see a close relative in this book: a Dad, an uncle, for me it was my grandad who always gave me a piece of his mind. Funny funny book.
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1 review
Loved it
July 30th, 2014
Amazing! Laughed so hard I cried. His father reminds me of mine.
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1 review
Amazing
June 3rd, 2014
Could not stop laughing. Stories that I can relate a lot to. Really easy read. Get ready to laugh
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1 review
January 26th, 2014
This book is hilarious. I was laughing out loud so much reading it that my fiancé decided to read it as well. His dad is so to the point blunt. Would recommend it only if you are not offended by colorful language though!
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1 review
Best book I ever read
January 25th, 2014
Reminds me of my own childhood
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1 review
October 5th, 2013
This book is really funny. Halpern's dad always has something fun to say, and the book is a collection of all sorts of colorful statements. Great read, and I recommend it highly.
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1 review
S*it my dad says
September 14th, 2013
Hilarious laugh out loud funny.
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1 review
Good book!
June 30th, 2013
It reminded me of my father. Laugh out loud alot while reading this.
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1 review
Hilarious
May 15th, 2013
Funny and touching at the same time
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1 review
Funny
April 5th, 2013
I was reading this in bed, hard not to lol didn't want to wake the hubby. :)
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1 review
Fun!
March 26th, 2013
Awesome easy reading. Can't wait to read it again sometime soon.
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1 review

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