Making Meant to Be: One Woman's Journey with Secondary Infertility- a memoir
by Tracy McKay
Digital smiley face on ovulation predictor?
Husband willing to distribute seed for third consecutive day?
Thirty minutes post-copulation free of vertical obligations?
Tracy and her husband already have one beautiful child, but Tracy has always wanted two. After nearly three years of trying, Tracy has still not had the second. "I just want it to be magic again," her husband says. "Women your age usually try Clomid," her doctor says. "Maybe you should just relax," her friend says. "You are not pregnant, you dope; go buy yourself some tampons!" a voice in her head says. "Maybe you are pregnant this time; why are your nipples so sore?" another voice says.
Despite the conflict and the madness, despite the would-be sibling age gap widening and her husband's ambivalence growing, despite not knowing if pregnancy is something you're supposed to make happen or something you're supposed to let happen, despite the fertile-pheromone cloud engulfing many of her friends, Tracy still knows. In her deepest deeps she can feel it. She will have a second child. It's just what's meant to be.
- Tracy McKay, June 2012
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