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Thirty years.

Thirty poems.

Not that each poem covers off each year of the author's life, as that would mean she was searching for love by age one (only a cyborg baby would possess such advanced comprehension.)

Besides they're not even all about her. Actually it's all fiction. Okay then.

So fine, thirty NOT love poems that relate to real life.

These poems exist because the real poets skipped them. All the frogs you had to kiss, and what about the times when you were someone else's frog? The mistake that made them choose someone else? That's always fun.

From teenage pursuits to hot men in suits to Internet mishaps and everything in-between.

DISCLAIMER: This work is not intended for young audiences, due to strong language and mature themes. These mature themes include: sexy time, rejection, humiliation, and the fear of dying alone.


"The Book of Awful": Available now, this humorous book is a parody of the bestselling "The Book of Awesome," with essay-style entries that remind you how much worse life could really be. The humor in this book is insane and ridiculous…and yes the author contracted head lice at age twenty…and yes she wrote about it.

"Year of the Chick": To be released in late October, this full-length novel is one woman's quest to find love within a year, all to avoid arranged marriage. Best described as edgy humor with heart, because on rare occasions, yes this author has a heart.

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