My Egg, My Womb, Your Baby: The Tales of a 3X Traditional Surrogate Mother
- #17797 in Biography & Memoir
Dawn enjoyed being pregnant so much when she carried her own children that she decided she wanted to help others who were unable to create their own family. After doing some research, Dawn decided that she wanted to become a Traditional Surrogate mother --- both egg donor and surrogate mother -- who would be genetically related to the surrobaby she carried who ultimately destined to be given to another family. While modernly, most surrogacies are gestational surrogacies, where there is a separate egg donor who provides the egg for the carrying surrogate mother, Dawn's journey with traditional surrogacy created three babies related to her, each with her knowledge and consent that two would given to two separate same sex recipients, and one would go to a traditionally married couple.
This book give's Dawn's unique perspective and provides an insider's view of traditional surrogacy based upon each of her three journeys. She writes about what TS entails, beginning with the search for her ideal recipients, and resulting in the birth of three babies who were destined for three families. Unlike Gestational Surrogacy, where an embryo is created at a fertility clinic laboratory, Dawn inseminated herself using sperm sample from a recipient parent and a syringe, which she then inserted inside of herself. She describes what it was like to self-inseminate, as well as writing about the dreaded wait between insemination and confirmation of pregnant.
Her initial and very-time consuming search for her first recipients began online using a website dedicated to matching recipient parents with surrogate mothers. Dawn reveals the difficulty in finding a perfect match, and describes in detail a perspective recipient parent and her mother haggling about mundane details of a potential surrogacy contract inside Dawn's own home, and of meeting a pair of recipients for lunch, where the male recipient was completely disinterested in his wife having a baby which he would raise with her.
Eventually, Dawn meets her ideal recipient #1, with whom she matches, and her journey as a traditional surrogate begins. Dawn's first journey included some unexpected bumps, including a confrontation with a hospital social worker who accuses her of having an affair with the recipient parent (who is gay) and tells Dawn that she can keep a baby that legally belongs to this recipient parent.
Her second surrogacy journey for recipients #2 got off to a shaky start, when Dawn learned shortly after meeting this same sex couple that they planned on moving overseas. The journey became more interesting at a party where a number of her daughter's parents discovered that, just weeks before delivering, Dawn was pregnant with a surrogacy pregnancy which she would not be keeping as her own. This bothered a number of attendees, even though this took place in the liberal city of Los Angeles.
Journey with recipient parents #3, a traditional married couple from another country, also got off to a difficult start. Dawn had travelled to another country for an in-house insemination and was detained by governmental custom officials at the airport upon arrival. These officials did not believe she was visiting to see friends. This journey became more complex when her OB / GYN and ultrasound specialist insisted the baby was huge, resulting in her first C-Section, when in fact the baby's birth weight was only 8 lbs. Finally, although she has maintained relationships with the other two recipients, Dawn has only seen one or two pictures of the third surrobaby, even though the recipients promised they would stay in touch and send pictures regularly.
This book provides an uncanny and candid portrait of the world of traditional surrogacy as seen through the eyes of a traditional surrogate, who knowingly gave three babies biologically related to her to other families.
- Dawn Marmorstein, August 2012
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