How To Live Forever
Meet David Black, a young family doc whose solo practice has spectacularly tanked. So has his marriage; the two are not unrelated. His best friend, Oz, wants him to reinvent himself, offering their fellow Boulderites everything they need to live forever (or at least long enough for Oz to profit and retire).
What follows is a romp of a read, a comedy with heart — from the characters who staff the new clinic, to pursuit by pheromone-crazed wildlife, a literal cliff-hanger, and the love that, in the end, may save him.
Visit the exotic New-Age mecca of Boulder, Colorado, and get to know...
David, hapless idealist and reluctant hero,
Junie Blanche, Ph.D. candidate and New Orleans immigrant,
Oz Garcia, entrepreneur and Master of Bad Habits,
Shriana, organic beauty and trophy wife aspirant,
Don Gilmore, hypochondriac and hemp magnate,
Cyrus P. Flint, slowly expiring longevity scientist,
Miss Paula and Dr. Biggs, fearsomely muscular HGH hawkers,
Beatriz Hanacanahuolipalipalulu, Kava Kava smuggler...
...and, of course, the happy but complicated staff of the Forever Clinic:
Dr. Quinn Quinn, former health guru and cross-dressing fugitive,
Nancy Ouvenstrasser, lonely masseuse and closet intellectual,
Adeline and Thomas Thinna, starving diet & fitness pros,
and Howie Krishna, Yogitation instructor and actual Real Thing.
(Warning: while many local statutes prohibit the sale of How To Live Forever as a wellness and longevity guide, there remains a modest danger that the reader might inadvertently absorb one if not more aspects of its radically 'Reasonable Approach to Semi-Optimal Health'.)
- Barry Burnett, February 2011
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