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Men are ruled by their peckers, and yet, the role of the penis in human history (and also herstory) has been greatly underrated and understudied. There may be a hundred biographies and ten million words written about the life of a President or a king, and nothing at all about the pecker that ruled him. (Or, as more and more women become heads of state: the yoni that rules them.)

Benny Profane’s short humorous fictional essay is a micro-short attempt to remedy this injustice by giving due recognition to the First Penis (or First Yoni) of the United States, to the role of peckers in history, and also by providing a model biography—of his own pecker.

Benny Profane is the pseudonym of Richard Crasta, the author of The Revised Kama Sutra, which was described as "very funny" by Kurt Vonnegut.

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