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Synopsis

Separating and divorcing is often one of life’s most difficult transitions. Eventually everything must be negotiated from who gets which spice to should my ex-spouse’s new spouse be invited to our eldest daughter’s wedding. If there are children involved, most ex-spouses find out to their horror that they will have to negotiate more, rather than less, after the separation/divorce. These negotiations, both during and after the separation and/or divorce, are often hard fought, emotionally draining, and the process is often non-stop − because even when someone thinks he or she has completed the negotiations, there are often unanticipated and messy details that arise that throw them right back into the negotiation process. This book will help the reader learn how to survive and even thrive as they learn how to more effectively negotiate through the emotional and psychological turbulence inherent in this process.

Although there are many excellent resources available to help get through the legal and psychological issues of becoming divorced or separated, How to Negotiate with Your Ex-Spouse is unique because it focuses solely on the plethora of negotiations that have to be faced once the ex-spouses get through the divorce, especially if there are children involved.

Seventy-eight people, who courageously managed this transition, rather than the transition managing them, tell their stories throughout this book. The stories make the book imminently readable as opposed to the large number of books that take a more academic approach. This is important because most of the valuable information that each divorcing/separating couple has to learn must be relearned by each successive generation of divorcing/separating couples. However, all of the relevant information on how to survive and even thrive in all of these negotiations has been captured in this book. This book contains the Master Negotiator's Preparation Form that is designed to help the reader apply the strategies contained in the book to his or her own specific circumstances.

There is a large and growing market for this book. According to the last census there are over 20 million divorced couples in North America and over 2.2 million couples who are separated and additional couples and will be added to these numbers with each passing year. Moreover, these statistics do not take into account couples who lived in common-law relationships and subsequently separated.

This book will satisfy a real need in the lives of these couples and in the lives of their children and extended families. The best testimonial to this book is from one of the many endorsers who said, “I wish I had this book ten years ago. I would have been better prepared and more confident in the negotiations that would affect the rest of my life.”
The author of this book, a divorced father of two, has been teaching negotiation and influencing skills across North America for the past 25 years.

Table of Contents:

Introduction: Victims, Survivors, and Thrivers
Chapter 1: Build Your Future with Creative Solutions

Chapter 2: Understand the Negotiation Process

Chapter 3: Develop a Negotiation Plan

Chapter 4: Understand the Stages

Chapter 5: Use the Best Negotiation Style for You

Chapter 6: Help Your Children Enhance their Self-Esteem

Chapter 7: Model Good Conflict Resolution Strategies

Chapter 8: In Dealing with Difficult People, Change Your Own Behavior First

Chapter 9: Seek Mediation When You Become Stuck

Chapter 10: Forgive Yourself and Your Ex-Spouse
What Goes Around Comes Around

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