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Synopsis

Yes! It's the memoir about the adventures of a young, bewildered, naive, and totally terrified big city newspaper reporter back when journalists were raffish, fast-talking swashbucklers. And when some were almost as creative with the facts they reported as they were with their expense accounts.

Learn why, as a young neophyte, the author dove into the business of journalism totally unprepared, and nearly drowned in it. How his crazy mother became frantic, not because he might get killed racing alone to crime scenes in bad neighborhoods at two o'clock in the morning, but because she thought his apartment was embarrassingly small. And how he inadvertently uncovered scandals — from the first sign of a rift between Liz Taylor and Eddie Fisher, to the (deliberately unreported at the time) philandering of John F. Kennedy, to the identity of "terrorists" who were burning crosses on a college campus.

Oh, and also how our hero discovered the private poetry written by an infamous mobster and his drop-dead-gorgeous stripper girlfriend.
And how he uncovered hush-hush news about the spy whose father came in from Virginia.
But there’s still more.

There was the human zoo of misbehaving reporters at Brooklyn police headquarters.
And then there was the scandal rag story about "Fidel Castro's All-Girl Firing Squads."
Not to mention the small-town newspaper editor who made off with the local Little League baseball team's funds.

It's all in the book, and more. Such as why the author bit Eddie Wagner. (Eddie who? You’ll find out.) And how, as a small boy, the author gave a grownup woman “leg cancer.” And how his mother terrified him with what she insisted were the unbearably awful career consequences of getting a woman pregnant.

Imagine someone like the hero of Portnoy’s Complaint dropped into a raffish crowd of aggressive reporters from The Front Page and you’ve got an idea of the madness and excitement you’re about to encounter in HEIRESS STRANGLED IN MOLTEN CHOCOLATE AT NAZI SEX ORGY! ­– A MEMOIR.

It’s one of those rare crazy-but-true stories that will make you chuckle. Or snigger. Or giggle. Or…who knows? You might even enjoy a few belly laughs.

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