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Somewhere between 1967 and 2067, everything went to hell. Here’s the severely edited version of what happened. If you’re feeling faint of heart, have frequent and intense panic attacks, work in advertising, have strong religious beliefs, possess a limited sense of humor, have a history of abusing pets, love Jesus with all your heart, voted for George Bush I & II and don’t regret it, please set this book down immediately. If you have recurring moments of misanthropy, love drugs for the sake of getting high, think sex is overrated, wish the Cream were still together as the most awesome power trio to ever hit the land, think sex is underrated, find religion to be dominated by evil, primitive superstition, suspect marketing to be at the core of most everything wrong with the world, then please, pardon my rant and read on. Thank you.

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