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In this ingeniously peculiar story, Jack and Ajay pay a visit to Rebecca at her Beacon Hill mansion, one of the women who abused Ajay so mercilessly on the jet from Mumbai in "Let’s Play with the Horny Teen". They ostensibly visit for an enthusiastic one-off liaison. Little do they know that her two guests are sado-masochistic lovers. The sadist of the pair, known in New York fetish circles as Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, is a Mistress to avoid. Aggravated assault complaints litter her past. She keeps her aggressiveness under control with strong medication. Unfortunately she leaves her meds at home.

While Paris, the masochist, takes Ajay on a very painful but entirely sexual roll down the main staircase, Elizabeth morphs into the psycho Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. As the last of the medication’s control wanes, Her Majesty’s long missed ethereal voices return, particularly the voice of the senile, bats-in-the-belfry Queen Victoria with cameos from Winston Churchill and Neville Chamberlain.

Then, while Ajay introduces Paris to the Vulcan Nerve Pinch as a unique addition to their sexual repertoire, the elder Queen insists that Queen Elizabeth brand both Jack and Rebecca’s privates with her custom branding irons (a ‘Q’ and an ‘E’). Queen Victoria simply loves the way the smell of burned flesh goes so well with a snifter of port. Pandemonium ensues resulting in Jack and Rebecca bound together in a network of silk ropes, swinging helplessly from a chandelier hook, legs tied in a wide split. With the branding irons heating in the fireplace and Jack’s plums the constant focus of Queen Elizabeth’s nine lashed whip (which, quite unexpectedly, he enjoys very much), they expect the worst.

When the daft, bughouse Queen leaves the room, Jack manages to call his beautiful no-nonsense lover for help. Nadine Tiberius, a descendant of Caesar Tiberius with fighting skills rivaling those of 007, is the only person with the considerable cunning necessary to extricate Jack and Rebecca from their seemingly hopeless fate. Does she get there in time? Can she prevent the psycho, schizoid Queen Elizabeth from mutilating Jack and Rebecca? With suspense as thick as the wit, you will find the novel entertaining and absorbing through and through.

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